It dawned on me a few days ago that, to me, fall feels very much like a time of renewal and beginnnings, particularly this year. Spring has been a very dark season for me for years; there’s some type of body memory linked to my depression that sends me spiraling down during a time of year that, for most, speaks of light and life, of freshness and beauty.
I suddenly see a correlation between the beauty of fall and the practice of learning to embrace and surrender to the pain and darkness of difficult, impossible, unbearable circumstance.
I started thinking about the themes of spring applied to the images of fall. I find more beauty in the fall. As the growing season wanes, leaves begin a dance of endless variety of color and shape; as vibrancy leeches and life turns inward, outward shape morphs and melts into the fantastical divine. Vastly more appealing than the eruption of perfectly formed and uniformly colored spring leaves.
Fall leads to things which may look dead on the outside, but are, at their core, full of life and vitality, awaiting their chance to bloom.
Beauty most fragile…waning petals are almost translucent and colored with hues which have been concentrated and distilled to a shabby chic elegance.
Beauty most resilient…that one leaf that refuses to let go…
Beauty turned inward, awaiting the end of temporary death.
The freshness of despair…
The beauty of decay…
Life suspended within….the ultimate, most perfect definition of hope.
Death and despair without; life and love within; both inexplicably and wonderfully one.
the light of darkness the color of black the joy of sorrow the never turning back
embrace, enfold, surrender to despair’s languid, sweet, sharp croon the sound, the scent, the feathered kiss the sanguine blush of Autumn’s Bloom